the hardest word

pg | no warnings apply


She's still staring at me.

I take a sip from my drink, not letting her see that I've noticed her. Recognized her. She must still be trying to figure it out. It took me seconds; she's been watching me for minutes.

Although, to be fair, it's been, what ... fifteen years? Maybe more. And I was nine or ten, I think, when we left.

I think she wants to come over and talk to me, but she doesn't. So I get up, tossing my plastic cup in the trash. Once I'm up closer, standing only a few feet away, the light dawns in her eyes.

"Kate?"

Or not.

"Hanna."

My voice is cold. I don't much care.

"It's been ..."

"A while, yeah."

She looks uncomfortable.

Good.

"What are you doing here?"

I suppose I don't have a right to be so bitchy. It's not as if I own the entire state of North Carolina.

"I work here, now. I got a transfer to the local field office after I ... got married."

It's then that I notice the ring on her finger, so similar to the one on mine.

"Congratulations."

I don't mean it. She knows. I don't care.

"And you?"

"I go to school here."

"Oh."

She wants to ask. She's dying to ask.

"Dad's in Boston, now. Mom's still in Chicago."

Something flits across her face. I can't make out what it is. I better not have seen her smile.

"They ... got divorced?"

"About three years after we moved, yeah. He wanted to go back to New York, I think, but he found out you had already moved on."

Hit and run. Destroy my parents' marriage, run off with some new guy. She'll probably ruin his life, too.

"Hanna, I don't know what you remember about -"

"I remember plenty, lady. I remember my mom crying. I remember my dad being depressed. I remember everything."

It still feels odd, having the ring on my hand. I hope she doesn't pick up on that. She's an investigator; she could start doing research. Find out the wedding was two days ago, and we're not leaving for our honeymoon until Friday. Figure out Dad might still be in town. Start calling hotels.

She could wreck his life all over again.

"I don't know what to say."

"Sorry seems to be the hardest word, doesn't it?"

I walk in the opposite direction of his hotel, hoping she doesn't follow me.

(fin.)

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